Wizards of the Coast’s limited edition Secret Lair card sets are often deplored as MTG‘s oddest products – but the two new Monty Python Secret Lair drops, just announced, are without doubt the silliest yet (and we mean that as a compliment). The tables at your local game stores will soon be ringing out with joyful nerds shouting ‘Ni!’
Revealed via IGN on Tuesday, this two-part MTG Secret Lair drop includes seven regular cards, one terrifying token, and one double-sided Swallow card, all representing classic scenes and characters from the legendary UK comedy troupe’s second-best movie: 1975’s Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
The first drop contains five cards, among them the fearsome Knights Who Say Ni (We Want… A SHRUBBERY!); the dauntless but foolish Black Knight (‘Tis But a Scratch!); and a double-sided card featuring a European Swallow on one side and African Swallow on the other.
The second, smaller drop has three cards – including the infamous Bridge of Death – and one 20/20 Flying Indestructible token for the Black Beast of Aaargh.
While we don’t yet know the pricing on either of these collectible mini MTG sets, IGN has reported that the foil and non-foil versions of the Monty Python Secret Lair will go live for pre-orders on Monday, July 29.
You’ll also reportedly be able to buy them early, in person, at San Diego Comic-Con, which runs from Thursday, July 25 to Sunday, July 28.
Be warned, though: as limited edition print runs outside of the regular MTG release schedule, these so-called ‘Super Drops’ have started to sell out incredibly quickly online. The second Hatsune Miku Secret Lair, released on June 24, was out of stock within two hours of going live.
It’s never certain how hot demand will be for these until the big day comes – but we’d venture this collection is going to burn through its stocks very quickly indeed.
For now, though, let’s check each new card out in turn – in order of their appearance in the movie. Following the general style of MTG Universes Beyond cards, each is a themed re-skin of an existing Magic card.
First, the double-sided African Swallow/European Swallow – a gorgeously colorful remake of the 0/1 Green flying creature Birds of Paradise.
Despite the famous disbelief of the French-sounding castle guards, both varieties are clearly carrying a coconut – so there.
‘Tis But a Scratch – riffing on the 3-cost Instant removal card Dismember – shows the valiant Black Knight moments after King Arthur lopped his arm off, confirming that this attack canonically dealt five -1/-1 tokens in the movie.
The 3-cost Black Sorcery Buried Alive is, er, brought to life in Bring Out Your Dead – because why shouldn’t we use the corpses of medieval plague victims to fuel necromantic Black spells?
The 3-cost Artifact Ashnod’s Altar, which lets you sacrifice a creature to farm mana, is represented by Sir Bedivere’s Scales – a device for identifying and condemning witches which was the height of medieval English science (or, at least, more effective than checking for warty noses).
Perhaps the most nerdbaity of the entire bunch, We Want… A SHRUBBERY! recounts the horrifying Knights Who Say Ni, and their demand for decorative plants, via the 2-cost Green Sorcery Three Visits.
Fetch the Knights a Shrubbery = Fetch a Forest from your Library. It fits.
The most iconic fantasy character John Cleese ever played, the fire-spitting wizard Tim the Enchanter stands in for the 3-cost, 1/1 Blue wizard creature Prodigal Sorcerer – which, appropriately, shoots titchy 1-damage fireballs.
Replacing the 5-cost Artifact Door to Nothingness – one of our all time favorite, ridiculous cards in the seldom seen ‘all five’ MTG color combo – is the perilous The Bridge of Death. If you play this, be prepared to answer your opponent their questions three before declaring them defeated.
We’re getting to the end of the movie now – Arthur and his knights of Camelot have followed the track of the Holy Grail all the way to the cursed Castle of Aaargh. In MTG terms, the castle and its awesome beast become the Legendary Snow Land Dark Depths – spend 30 mana to melt away the card’s Ice counters, and it transforms into…
… the preposterously deadly 20/20 Indestructible flyer Marit Lage – renamed The Black Beast of Aaargh, perhaps Python cartoonist Terry Gilliam’s most terrifying creation ever (unless you’ve seen any of his horror movies, that is).
Reader, Secret Lair drops are often damp squibs that leave a poor taste in Magic fans’ mouths; the recent MTG Assassin’s Creed ‘Lairs went down as mid at best, for example. But this one has us far more excited than most – the artworks are splendid and the integration of theme into gameplay is, for us, very satisfying. Too bad our chances of nabbing a copy in time are about as good as Bors’ chance of surviving the monstrous Rabbit of Caerbannog.
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