I thought I knew all about Spider-Man. Well not everything, obviously. But I'd seen all the movies. I bought the comics as a kid during the mid 2000s. I knew the characters, the villains, and the main plot beats.
But now we're getting a whole release based on Spider-Man, and it has shown me that, actually, I knew nothing about this superhero. MTG Spider-Man has not just unveiled an iceberg of alternate spider people I didn't know existed, it's also revealed that this comic should be placed firmly in the horror section. Let's take a look at some of the most nightmarish cards in this MTG set.
First up we have Morlun. Not to be confused with Morbius, this traditional-looking vampire has a very untraditional diet. As his card name relates, he is a "Devourer of Spiders". Like Spiders Georg, he just can't get enough many-legged snacks, though even he must admit they tickle a bit on the way down.
In fact, it's not quite that gross. Morlun doesn't eat spiders, he eats humans that have Spider-Man powers, hopping through dimensions to hunt them down. Well that's alright then!
There's no hiding what's going on in the card Spider Manifestation though, not with that flavor text "Some spiders eat other spiders". This art is fantastic but also truly awful, from the close-up on the spiders, to the sheer quantity of webbing that makes me feel like something's clinging to me, to that horrible humanoid and the way it's chosen to sit.
This easily rivals the most scary MTG cards. I'm not even going to look up what's happening here. I don't want to know.
Seriously, what is it with the spider-eating, Spider-Man? Even funny ha-ha joke cards like Spiders-Man aren't innocent of it. It turns out the backstory of this hero is that a version of Peter Parker got consumed by a swarm of radioactive spiders, which then assumed his consciousness. When even Spiders-Man has horror lurking beneath, nowhere is safe.
There's a strong metamorphosis theme in Spider-Man comics, seen in characters like The Lizard and especially Venom. But villains are one thing; I didn't realize how often the regular citizens of New York were getting transformed into hideous beasts.
Raging Goblinoids is a less terrifying example - they're scary monsters, but it's honestly kind of funny that there are real goblins in the Spider-Man world. But Spider-Islanders immediately plunges us back into. That Spider-cop looks like he belongs in Stephen King's The Mist, not a superhero story!
Urgh, I just went back and looked at Spider Manifestation again. Nope. No, I'm sorry. I'm done here.
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