Magic: The Gathering fans on Reddit clearly love to suffer, because they’ve started ranking the saddest MTG cards ever made. On July 20, user c0rtexj4ckal kicked off the sob-fest, asking “What do you think is the saddest / most depressing MTG card & why?”. They even shared a suggestion – Illicit Auction, which features art of a captive (and presumably mistreated) elephant being auctioned in front of a crowd.
The rest of Reddit responded with their own favorite moments of misery. As expected, there’s an awful lot of death involved.
Blessed Spirits depicts the ghosts of two children, accompanied by the flavor text “Not all heroes die in armor”. The two cards Live Fast and Die Young are tied by their art and flavor, which shows how fleeting life can be. And Reckless Cohort is based on a moment of heroic (yet lethal) sacrifice.
Those are all pretty sad, but the dead dog cards are some of the most crushing. Every single version of Selfless Savior makes us want to ugly cry, and the different flavor texts are each arrows in our hearts. As if that wasn’t enough, there’s also the Secret Lair version of Rest in Peace, which shows the final moment of one adorable pup.
While most of Reddit’s suggestions involved death in some way, one card went against the grain: Carnival of Souls. The flavor text reads: “‘Davvol, blast those elves.’ ‘Davvol, transport those troops.’ No one cares that today is my birthday.”
Thanks for the misery, MTG Reddit. We’re going to drown our sorrows by building MTG Arena decks – and updating our guide to the MTG 2023 release schedule.