We may earn a commission when you buy through links in our articles. Learn more.

New MTG Secret Lair is so cringe that our teeth shattered

Wizards of the Coast drops an April Fool’s MTG Secret Lair in May, but its outdated humor didn’t land with us Magic: The Gathering fans.

Three cards from the sAnS mErCy MTG Secret Lair

I’m a millennial, and even I don’t think the new MTG Secret Lair drop is funny. The cringe-worthy cards feature Comic Sans text boxes with alternating capital letters– à la the Mocking Spongebob meme. Wizards of the Coast revealed the next installment of the 2024 Spring Superdrop on May 1, which it jokingly renames ‘Maypril Fool’s Day’.

‘sAnS mERcy’, as the MTG Secret Lair is called, features five Magic: The Gathering cards that are likely to stir up some salt at the table. Presumably, the meme-y font is meant to represent you mocking your huffy opponents as you destroy their MTG lands and creatures at the worst possible time. “oUcHy-wAh-wAh, pLs dOn’T cRY!”, goads the flavor text of one card.

Wizards of the Coast marketing image of the sAnS mErCy MTG Secret Lair

Doom Blade, Massacre, Torment of Hailfire, Ruination, and Mogis, God of Slaughter all come with some dramatic and detailed new art. The illustrations are gorgeous, but the text printed on top has all the beauty and subtlety of a train crash.

If Magic: The Gathering cards with “lol” in the text box are your idea of humor, then you can buy the Secret Lair when it launches on May 13. We expect the pricing will be the same as the recently-announced Hatsune Miku Secret Lair – $29.99 (£29.99) for a non-foil set and $39.99 (£39.99) for foils.

For cards you can take seriously, here are the MTG sets coming up on 2024’s MTG release schedule. Plus, here’s all the latest on MTG Arena decks and MTG Arena codes. If that wasn’t enough to scrub this Secret Lair from your memory, give us a follow on Google News, where we can distract you with more tabletop updates.